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Joke of the Day

"Why is Bud light kinda like making love on a canoe? Because it's like fucking close to water."

"Heard this one from my trumpet playing band director Does anyone know the Trumpeteer handshake? ""Hi, I'm better than you"""

"A food truck rodeo is a lot like the game The Oregon Trail You circle your wagons. You trade money for food. And it usually ends with dysentery."

"Hey I bet you guys can't guess what the Titanic's least favorite kind of lettuce is"

"I like birthdays but I think too many can kill you"

"so there's this group of people who are protecting a van they call themselves the Vanguard"

"Did you see that blind guy walking down the street? No? Well he didn't see you either."

"I know 27 different jokes about eyeballs... ...But this one's cornea than the rest!"

"ANY voicemail left by the elderly starts off with 2 minutes of ""HELLO? HELLO?"" and ends with them trying to dial another number."

"What did Jesus say to the flock of sheep? I herd that."