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Joke of the Day

"You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body."

"I was in bed with the wife the other night and she said if I turned the bedside light out she'd take it up the arse... Maybe I should have let it cool down a bit first."

"If that's his reaction to spinach, Popeye should never try cocaine."

"I walked into an explosives shop the other day and wanted to buy a grenade with my debit card. It all went horribly wrong when the cashier asked for my pin."

"How do you know your at a gay bbq? Hotdogs taste like shit"

"TIFU by changing TIFU's meaning to make a joke. Today I fished (for) up-votes by ( insert made up story )."

"The news said a condom truck overturned, spilled its huge load and made a big mess. I don't know if it got cleaned up because I fell asleep."

"When people ask ""what do you do"" I try to seem normal by saying things like ""Walk with my feet. Use water. See things that are there."""

"Marvel at this joke. What do you call an Asgardian instrument specialist with an attitude problem? A Thor Luthier."

"Developers with New Game Ideas ""Ok I got it. Here's my epic title. Patent pending! Subjugate The Rest of the World...sounds fun right?"" Where do I have to travel to play this game?"