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Joke of the Day

"My grandpa always told me to watch my health, not my money.. ... one day as I was taking a walk, watching my health, someone stole my wallet. It was my grandpa."

"You hear about the moneyless porn star that started selling double-ended dildos? She was just trying to make ends meet."

"Is mingerbread the opposite of stud muffin?"

"I think Google's a woman... Because it won't let you finish a sentence without coming up with other suggestions."

"Why did Hitler visit the optometrist so much? cause he could nazi"

"Guys socialize by making fun of each other, but they don't mean it. Girls socialize by giving compliments to each other but they don't meant it either."

"My religious, conservative upbringing taught me that poor people are lazy and the rich are giving. Real life taught me the opposite."

"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant... ...but apparently it just changes the color of the baby."

"What does a pencil have in common with marijuana? If it doesn't make you look smart, it's blunt."

"What's better than winning a silver medal at the Paralympics? Being able to walk."