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Joke of the Day

"Mufasa means King. So their parents literally named their sons King and Garbage. No wonder Scar wanted everyone dead."

"Butterflies have 1,200 eyes. That means they spend 7 months taking out their contacts every night."

"Why do Steven Avery's victims see him naked from the waist down? Because his lawyers keep filing away his briefs."

"Me: Are these your kids? Boss: ""Yep"" They're gorgeous! ""Thanks"" Step kids? ""Nope"" Adopted? ""No.."" .. "".."" She's cheating on you.. ""Get out"""

"Children are like ulcers... Their small, painful, restrict what you can and can't eat and by the time you've realised what's wrong you'll have 2 or 3 others"

"What do French people call a bad Thursday? A trajeudi. I'll escort myself out now....."

"A Star Wars Joke(No Spoilers) Why was Han yelling at Chewbacca on their first day on the Millenium Falcon? . . . Because Chewie was making too many wookie mistakes!"

"What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common? They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV"

"why did god make girls so stupid? so that they would love boys"

"Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind a guy on a stationary bike and pretend you're angrily chasing him."