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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh^im ^so ^sorry"

"I lost my thesaurus when I was little... I couldn't find the words to describe how I felt."

"Apparently my girlfriend is a lot like JIRA... They're REALLY good for creating issues."

"Me: Girls' night in!!! Cat: I'm a cat. Me: You're my best friend. Cat: I'm not even a girl cat. Me: So it's like a date? Cat: Get help."

"Aww, c'mon! Let me crack your baby's knuckles."

"6'5"" guy: [starts a fight with me at the bar] me: [hides behind GF] GF: HEY, WHAT THE F- me: look, we need more strong female lead char-"

"I'm reading a book about a duck who questions it's faith in God . . . It's called ""Are you there God, it's me magret de canard"""

"True: If you don't eat a whole basket of tortilla chips before your entree arrives in a Mexican restaurant it means you don't love your mom."

"What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut. racist jerk"

"What is green, has four legs and if it fell out of a tree and landed on you it would kill you? A pool table!"