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Joke of the Day

"Anyone that says I'm a lover not a fighter has clearly never been in a relationship over 6 months"

"[nervously speeding up as I drive my date past a Taco Bell] SIRI: At frequent destination. Set this address as 'Home' address?"

"Why do black men only have nightmares? Because the last black man to have a dream got shot."

"How do you make a hormone? ... Don't pay her."

"People who like shitty lite pop-rock are lucky. They get to hear their favorite music in department stores and at the dentist."

"Someone asked me if I'm ever scared that I'll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my cat was right there."

"What do you call a cross between a joke and a hypothetical question?"

"Why was the computer tired when it got home? It had a hard drive."

"sure the early bird may get the worm... but the second mouse gets the cheese"

"Why does Leonardo DiCaprio love his fast car? Because he got an award for revvin' it."