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Joke of the Day

"My ""snooze"" button should just be called the ""nope, no yoga today"" button."

"What's the worst thing about owning a dildo farm? Squatters."

"If you give a man a fish you kinda suck at picking out gifts."

"I've heard so many drunken Irish jokes, it's gettin' old... ...not everyone's a drunkard in me ~~Publin~~ Dublin."

"This is Gold Au"

"So I had an exam today... ...luckily I remembered it was April Fools Day and wasn't about to get pranked by my professor. I'm not that gullible!"

"ME: You're a silly sausage aren't you? SAUSAGE: [peering over spectacles] I may have acted out in my youth but that's not what defines me."

"My girlfriend left me for a hindu guy. Anyway, he'll treat her better - they worship cows."

"How did Little Debby get pregnant? She fell into a box of Ding Dongs"

"Why did 5000 Mexicans show up to fight at the Alamo? They only had two cars."