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Joke of the Day

"Why does Paris have the best theaters? The audience is always dead quiet.... Looks like i'm going to hell."

"I bet Lorde is a gold digger She is a minor after all."

"[meeting a couple at dog park] ""BARK BARK!"" GF: He's usually not like this [pulls me aside] GF: Stop yelling bark bark at those nice people"

"Where did the ghost go shopping? At the BOO-tique"

"Why did Adolf Hitler commit suicide? He saw the gas bill."

"Do you even know what patronizing means?"

"I did a self defense course I would't recommend anyone to attack me in slow motion"

"Two cannibals are eating a clown, one turns to the other and asks 'does this taste funny to you?' Ba da ba, tshhhh."

"I found this addvertisement along the road in Texas Don't Texan drive."

"Little monster: Mom I've finished. Can I leave the table? Mommy monster: Yes I'll save it for your tea."