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Joke of the Day
"Don't make fun of fat people with lisps... They're thick and tired of it"
Next Joke
"007 is fired, becomes a scientist. He opens meetings with, ""The name's Bond, Hydrogen Bond."" Everyone laughs. He cries in the supply closet."
"""I knew he was the murderer when I saw him on the dance floor,"" Holmes said. ""You see, Watson, guilty feet have got no rhythm."""
"So I've heard there's a heroin epidemic among white teens... I guess they're used to shooting up to solve their problems"
"""THIS SUB CAN'T EVEN HANDLE ME RIGHT NOW!!!""-what i just screamed in subway as i spit black olives all over a 7 year old."
"How does your stomach know to send the burps to the mouth and the farts to your bum?"
"""The toilet's blocked pretty bad so I called the plumber. Should be here later tod-"" [Bowser spits coffee] ""Which plumber?"""
"Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed."
"Whats a plants favorite drink? Root Beer"
"What do Saiyans and Kelly Clarkson have in common? (x-post r/funny) What doesn't kill them, makes them stronger."