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Joke of the Day

"Pros and cons of guys: Con: They're dicks. Pro: Their dicks."

"[After Big Jewel Heist] ""We did it! We got away! Everything went to plan"" ME(holding my grappling hook I didn't get to use): Yea it was ok"

"Why do baby boomers like fracking so much? Because figuratively breaking the country apart isn't enough."

"What did the cannibal say to the explorer? ''Nice to meat you''!"

"5yo slooowly walks by: ""Hi, mom and dad."" 4yo slooowly walks by: ""Hi, mom and dad."" CODE RED CODE RED"

"On a microwave, typing in 90 gives you a longer cooking time than typing in 100. MIND BLOWN"

"Did you hear about Draymond Green's new comedy road show? It's like Gallagher, but instead of watermelons he only smashes kiwis."

"Pam: You blew me off for Katya, the big-titted cyborg! Little Miss...uhh... Archer: R2-""Double-D""-2?"

"A vasectomy can make a vas deferens in your life"

"A boy goes into a stripclub... When he comes home, his mom asks him: ""Son, did you see anything you aren't supposed to see there?"" The son replies, ""Ya, I saw dad."""