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Joke of the Day

"5yo slooowly walks by: ""Hi, mom and dad."" 4yo slooowly walks by: ""Hi, mom and dad."" CODE RED CODE RED"

"The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating."

"My girlfriend and I have a rocky relationship... Much like Sylvester Stallone, there is a communication problem."

"What was the pornstar doing in school? Analogy"

"What type of jeans do the Mario Brothers wear? Denim denim denim"

"A blonde's house is on fire. She runs outside and yells ""Help me! My house is on fire! What do I do?!"" Someone else yells ""Call 911!"" The blonde yells back ""What's the number?"""

"why did the cheese stick hate football? because he wasn't first string!"

"What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug? One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro."

"What kind of dog did Jesus own a holy shih-tzu"

"According to my gym trainer, I need to cut back on drinking According to my bartender, I look great Moral of the story: I'm drunk"