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Joke of the Day

"What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? ""Robin, get into the Batmobile..."""

"When Tom Cruise is driving, he says ""Now in Cruise Control!"" with this stupid smirk on his face even when there's no one else in the car."

"Why don't cows hang out with camels? They're all a bunch of drama-dairies."

"What do you call three brothers taking acid together? Triplets"

"So embarrassing when the door's marked PUSH & you spend 5 minutes shattering all the glass"

"What do James Cameron and M. Night Shamylan have in common? Icy dead people."

"3yo: I don't want a walk Me: Come on, it'll be fun braving the elements [An hour later] 3yo: *Very disappointed* Where are the elephants?"

"My doctor just told me I was suffering from paranoia. Well he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what the bastard was thinking."

"One in 3 Americans weighs as much as the other two combined"

"When in Texas... *heads into the desert* *hugs cactus* *shoots said cactus* *rides off into the sunset on horseback*"