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Joke of the Day

"Monica Lewinski released a statement that said she would be voting for Donald Trump the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth"

"Seize the day. Attack the week. Murder the month. Approach your life in a generally violent way."

"Wrap toilet paper around you like a wedding dress and slowly get naked as you tear pieces off to blow your nose all day."

"I'm dating a half-Asian girl. Her mom's Korean and her dad's Korean, and her legs got torn off in a car accident. - Dan Mintz"

"A heads up.. So when searching for a place to eat at work and a coworker tells you about The Black Angus Campfire Feast and the boss is standing behind you. Check the spelling before hitting enter."

"A mathematician walks into a pizza bar and orders one pi He receives two"

"A Mexican magician was performing a magic show He said that he will vanish by the count of 3. So he started the countdown Uno Dos And then he vanished without a tres"

"""Don't you play stupid with me!"" shouted my wife. ""Why would I play something I have no chance of winning?"" I replied."

"Pitch: A Movie/ TV ep that starts w a Muslim guy praying & then it turns out he's a normal guy & the story has nothing to do with terrorism."

"So my neighbor knocks on my door. So my neighbor knocks on my door at 2:30am last night. 2:30AM!!! Can you believe it?!!? Lucky for him, I was up playing my drums."