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Joke of the Day
"I heard Apple is designing a new automatic car. But they're having trouble installing windows."
Next Joke
"Everytime I play Monopoly I get this dad joke. http://imgur.com/bbMl41W"
"What's the difference between a cheap hooker and an expensive one? You'll get crabs from the cheap one, and lobsters from the other. Heard this years ago, hope this ain't a repost. Cheers"
"You know you've been coding for too long when... System.express(feelings.tired);"
"I think I just passed a Pussy Willow. I couldn't see clearly because there was a big bush in front of it."
"How to spot an idiot at the gym? They put a water bottle where the Pringles go."
"Me: yeah, I'm not going to make it in today. Boss:of course, this snow is crazy. Me: Snow?"
"How is Budweiser like Making Love in a Canoe? It's Fucking Close to Water."
"Me and my girlfriend tried anal the other night... Me and my girlfriend tried anal the other night for the first time. didn't go so well. no idea how my ass is supposed to fit inside her vagina..."
"What's a lawyer's favourite pastry? Suet"