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Joke of the Day

"Whats the easiest way to drown a blonde? Glue a penny to the bottom of a swimming pool ALTERNATE ENDING: Put a scratch n' sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool"

"You know what's odd about those girls at Starbucks? They, like, literally can't, even."

"I've been told that I'm very condescending That means I talk down to people"

"That incessant, monotonous football is really ruining my enjoyment of the vuvuzelas."

"A gymnast walks into a bar. She is promptly deducted five points"

"Why didn't the Duke of Windsor let his French servant help him tie his tie? He never does it with a four-in (foreign)-hand."

"Why is the apostrophe always near an ""s""? Because it is possessive"

"I thought you were trying to get into shape? I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle."

"Cremation My last chance at a smoking hot body"

"What's the worst thing about having sex with a Bulimic? She won't swallow"