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Joke of the Day

"When someone looks over my shoulder while I'm on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, ""HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME."""

"what did one lesbian vampire say to the other? same time next month? (hopefully not a repost)"

"What is Forrest Gump's favorite pasta? Penne"

"what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm Rape!"

"There should be bongs and blunts at viewings in funeral homes... A true wake and bake."

"Percentage of Childhood Obesity by U.S. State in 2011 x-post from /r/dataisbeautiful"

"Who is Shrek's favorite basketball player? Shrekquille O'Neal I'm sorry"

"My parents were shot and killed in an alley feelsbatman"

"I would totally get into a stranger's windowless van if they took me away from my family for an hour."

"Congress always makes me feel nostalgic for college when I waited for the last minute to do shitty work and blame anyone but myself."