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Joke of the Day

"A shapeshifter repeatedly raped a girl, first as a midget, then as a normal man, and finally as a giant. He came in a variety of sizes."

"What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill? ""I'm cured!"""

"I deleted all the German contacts out of my phone... now its Hans free"

"A guy in the store on his cell said ""Susan, I'm in my car on my way"" so I yelled ""NO HE'S NOT!"" Because nobody lies to Susan in front of me."

"What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Ten-ish"

"What kind of dog can jump higher than a building? Any kind, buildings can't jump."

"There are only two things in this world visible from space. One is the Great Wall of China and the other is my pile of laundry."

"""I'm not good at goodbyes."" I am. See ya."

"If you know how many calories are in your donut, you're not eating it right."

"Want to meet up so I can excite your natural frequency?"