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Joke of the Day

"The Teen Choice Awards has to be the most legit award show because teens always make the best choices."

"Q: ""How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?"" A: ""We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."""

"Definition of Divorce: The future tense of marriage."

"What's more effective than an islamic call to prayer? A rape whistle."

"*enter password* *wrong* *wrong* *wrong* *reset password* ... *new password can't be the same as old password*"

"why dont they ever have plagues of endangered animals, like a plague of panda bears. oh no our entire bamboo crop is gone haha"

"What's the difference between a baby and a tree? Trees don't bleed when you cut their limbs off."

"12,000 BCE: Humans hunt woolly mammoths with stone-tipped spears. 2012 AD: I apply acne medication to my cat's chin."

"I didn't know angels could fly so low."

"Finding a good date is like looking for a parking spot... all the good ones are taking and the rest are handicapped."