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Joke of the Day

"Americans, make jokes about US states that your state hates. I'll start. Did you know 29 astronauts are from Ohio? What about Ohio makes people flee the face of the Earth?"

"How did the Jamaican meteorologist report the risk of flash flooding? ""Mon, soon."""

"""I'm proud of all the Twitter followers you've accumulated."" - none of our parents"

"Why are there so many Asians? Its the food. There is too much raw dog. Heard it on Adam Carolla's Podcast. A caller phoned in and told it to Adam. Thought you guys would like it."

"I ducked into a crowd of guys bro hugging as they left the bar, they didn't notice the stranger in their midst and I'm feeling so loved rn."

"What is a support group for lesbian mathematicians called? Number Munchers!"

"Thinking about writing some erotic fan fiction about 90s bands Working title It's A shame About Grey"

"10 years ago, my teenage daughter ran away from home. I bumped into her the other day and she said ""Dad, I have something to tell you. I'm a prostitute"". I always knew she would suck seed."

"God wants to redesign.. God asks wives: I want to redesign men with new hi tech features. Any suggestions?? Women: Yes, that joy stick made for us should be password protected."

"I don't go to the circus. Not because I'm scared of clowns, but because I'm scared of people who go to the circus."