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Joke of the Day

"A Japanese man observes his son scratching his knee. He comments, ""Itchy knee, son?"" The son replies, ""I already know how to count, Dad!"""

"My 5th grade teacher said my life would never be worth anything but my wife paid a homeless man $3 to kill me so suck it Mrs. Jacobsen"

"If Chuck Norris is running late, time slows down. It knows better."

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field! :p"

"""A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie."""

"So with the iPhone 6S coming out... I'm guessing it will be a huge 6-s."

"Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children."

"Earthquake just hit California... Too many liberals are literally shaking."

"What's a dish best served cold? Air condish."

"I added Paul walker on xbox live the other day.. too bad he spends most of his time on the dashboard"