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Joke of the Day
"What is the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The Wheelchair"
Next Joke
"How do you say doormat in Spanish? Matador"
"What does a black man do after sex? Wipes away the pepper spray and 25 to life."
"Men in suits look really successful until you find out they work for the men in T-shirts and jeans"
"Everyone should invest in silent comedy. After all, mime *is* money."
"'What other miracles can you do?' Jesus: I can varnish 'You mean vanish?' J: *running finger over a beautiful oak table* aha, not quite"
"A bathroom scale that when you stand on it just says ""Your body is but a point in space; your life, a differential of time."""
"How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it? With a monkey wrench."
"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? You may have to give me a few minutes to get hard, I just got laid this morning."
"Before I go out binge drinking I always eat a stick of butter. It doesn't do anything I just make really poor life choices."