20907
Joke of the Day
"When I'm dead, these tweets will be worth twice as much."
Next Joke
"""Men are pigs"" - misandrist &/or world's worst biologist"
"I accidentally went to Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca... It was a Wookie mistake"
"If life begins at conception then I can use the carpool lane for the next few days"
"Asked my friend who works at the tampon store if he could get me a discount He said he'd pull some strings."
"There is nothing like the sound of a child's laughter to remind you that your apartment is haunted."
"Howcome you can't see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're very good at it."
"Where do hipsters buy their clothes? Most likely a thrift store or Urban Outfitters, TBH."
"Baby, let's stay up all night and watch people Instagram the sunrise."
"I told my toilet to go eat shit... I probably shouldn't have said that because he got all flushed."