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Joke of the Day

"I've said it before. Wednesday. Where you're too far out to see weekend in any direction."

"The difference between an alcoholic and a drunk is staggering."

"I was in a band.. called ""Missing Cat"". You might have seen our posters."

"A comedian, a rapist, and the President of the United States are in an elevator .. and then Barack says to the other guy ""Always liked you most in The Cosby Show""."

"What do you call a guy who's into beastiality? Someone who really gets his head into the game."

"""Dad, are they allowed to put two people in the same grave?"" ""I don't think so, son. Why do you ask?"" ""Because that headstone over there says, 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"""

"I was sitting on the toilet when todays earthquake hit. The toilet shook like a rollercoaster. It scared the shit out of me."

"A man would never say... STOP SUCKING MY DICK OR I'LL CALL THE POLICE!"

"What's the difference between illegal and unlawful? One's against the law and the other is a sick bird."

"Trump promises to bring back Jobs If he can save the iphone 8 from deleting the charge port he can save America"