209044

Joke of the Day

"If you take meat from a calf... ... it could either be veal or below-knee."

"Now that the new bills have Harriet Tubman on them... if you put one on a television does that make it a tele-tubbie?"

"I could understand Eve's choice to doom all of humanity if she'd been offered nachos. But an apple? My ovaries are not amused."

"How do you tell the difference between a meth head and a hillbilly? The meth head still has teeth."

"Dentist: Don't worry. I'm painless. Patient: I'm not."

"How many Hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...it's this really obscure number. You've probably never even heard of it. No big deal."

"As we stripped off jumping into the bed I said to my boyfriend, ""Can you give me a minute?"" ""Why? Want to freshen up?"" He asked. ""No,"" I replied. ""Its just that last time you only gave me 30 seconds."""

"What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk."

"r/jokes this Aprils fools is god damn annoying at least give us a way to turn it off lol."

"I could never trust a psychic who hasn't won the lottery at least once."