20904

Joke of the Day

"What do you called being pepper sprayed at UC Davis? Occupational hazard."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Lego man: Is it because I'm block?"

"You can tell a lot about a person by how quickly they grab their phone back to make sure you don't scroll through the rest of their photos."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Jock Barbie ...looks like Dennis Rodman"

"The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake- you can't learn anything from being perfect."

"Irritating An irritating friend took a drink from my wife's beer and said, ""Ha,Ha, this is one step from kissing your wife!"" ""Yes it is,"" I replied, ""and two steps from sucking my dick."""

"I'm thinking about becoming a devil worshipper Just for the hell of it"

"I farted on the bus today and four people turned around I felt like I was on The Voice"

"What is the scariest part of a cavity search? When they put both their hands on your shoulders but keep searching"

"At the bar I got into a factual debate with another patron. He pulled the ""I have a PhD"" card. Now he has a PhD AND a fork in his eye."