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Joke of the Day

"Why did the little pig hide the soap? He heard the farmer yell ""Hogwash!"""

"Human Beings get rich as they grow old Silver in Hair; Gold in Teeth; Sugar in Blood; Precious Stones in Kidneys; . And a never ending supply of Gas!"

"Did you hear about the Stormtrooper who became a kamikaze pilot? He survived 99 missions."

"Why do bulimics make such good food? Cus they have to taste it twice!"

"Just when you think parenting can't be any weirder, you find yourself consoling your son, upset that he can't get a squirrel to hug him."

"LPT: If someone brings in home baked goods to say goodbye after being let go, don't eat them. I used laxatives."

"Guys, I'm getting a little offended by these racist jokes. I had a black friend. . . ... Until my dad sold him."

"What did the elephant say to the naked guy? Pretty impressive, but can it pick up peanuts?"

"Pick up a book, any book. Open to the middle, and read the first paragraph. Make sense? Welcome to Twitter."

"Q: If two people had a race and one had sand in his shoe but the other did not, who would win? A: The one with sand in his shoe -- if it was quicksand."