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Joke of the Day

"I saw a sign that said ""hiring carpenters"" My brother said ""let's be honest, that should say 'hiring Mexicans.'"""

"I like my women the way I like my coffee Tied up in a burlap sack and slung over the back of Juan Valdez's mule."

"Everything I need to know about whether or not cops are allowed to search my car I learned from Jay-Z songs."

"I don't like being told what to do unless I'm naked."

"This dermatologist waits a month to diagnose a skin disorder... She's reluctant to make a rash decision."

"ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking, please fasten your seatbelts i wanna try something"

"I like my rhinos like I like my eggs poached"

"Why doesn't Switzerland make good cars? You can only put them in neutral. edit:pronouns"

"I'm about as sociable as mushrooms... I'd like to think I'm a pretty fungi."

"I know a guy who used to have Leukaemia He's Luekae to be alive."