208696

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an elephant with a poor memory? A bold and innovative departure from the hackneyed stereotypes that all too often dominate the joke-telling industry."

"""All the single ladies... All the single ladies... All the single ladies..."" - list of girls who wouldn't talk to me in high school"

"Give a man a fish & he'll eat for a day. Give a man a jelly fish and you can pee on him."

"Mother: I raised you both as a mother and a father. Son: Go fuck your self."

"Told my Vegan Friend to stop with the Puns. He said oh kale no"

"Trains delayed due to: - Wrong kind of sun - Ominous cloud - Slightly damp leaf - Chilly track - Suspicious gravel - Sarcastic swan"

"I don't like jam but my marmite Note : Girlfriend was determined this was a good joke, I thought it was trash. You decide."

"What are a mathematician's five favourite numbers? 0, 1, e, pi."

"Donald Trump should start preparing for next season of Dancing With The Stars."

"Lord, protect me from my friends, I can take care of my enemies."