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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend asked me to send her a dick pic. But my panorama app kept crashing."
Next Joke
"You really dropped the ball today Ted. You're fired. ""Please, no. I can try harder."" You operate a wrecking crane, man. People died."
"doctor: you know how to measure your bowel movements me: yeah of course doctor: you weigh yourself before and after me: [15 Sec pause] yeah"
"Will Smith was convicted They found fresh prints at the scene...."
"A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and then his wife didn't speak to him for 6 months. It was part of the deal"
"Teacher: Ants can lift things that are heavier than they are Kid: How can a thing be heavier than it is? T: No-[sees it's almost 3 pm] Magic"
"I'm going to shave my beard. Her legs will look #FAAAABULOUUUUUS!"
"My gf is getting glasses Hey guys - my gf is getting glasses on monday and I need a couple of jokes to fire at her - please do your best "
"How do you defend your breath mints? Tic-Tactically."
"I called in a reserve player... from the wrong team! Whoops, wrong sub"