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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between eating at a restaurant and standing in a field of cows? I don't tip at restaurants."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cannelloni ! Cannelloni who ? Cannelloni some money till next week ?"

"There's this blind old man Going for walk, he walks into a fish market, takes a deep breath and says good morning ladies..."

"I've been known to give sage advice from time-to-time. Though I do get funny looks for talking to herbs."

"Self-control (n.): Charlize Theron keeping a straight face on when the mirror tells her Kristen Stewart is prettier than she is."

"Stop editing your pics. What if you go missing? How do you expect us to find you if you look like beyonce on Facebook."

"Why do the Scottish wear kilts? Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away"

"What do you call a black man who flies a plane for a living? A pilot you fucking racist!"

"A gay black guy, a Jewish midget and a gypsy jump off the Empire State Building at the same time. Who hits the ground first? Who gives a shit?"

"Pluto I got good news! You are still not a planet but you are a star now kid!"