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Joke of the Day

"I was scared shitless when I found out I was constipated."

"What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels."

"I recently bumped into a Frenchman wearing a bagel as a scarf. He said it was a real pain in the neck."

"So I introduced my new girlfriend to my family Everyone seemed to like her except for my wife"

"I got the eye of the tiger ... and a lifetime ban from my local zoo."

"I'm not saying I'm a jinx But the first time I played Tetris the first thing that dropped for me was a circle"

"More people die from choking on sweet packaging than they do from the sweets themselves... Gums don't kill people. Wrappers do."

"Have you heard the one about the jellyfish? It's a real no-brainer."

"Job interview Hiring manager: so, according to your resume you have listed ""can pee with a boner"" as a skill Me: yea bruh I guess u can say its kinda hard Manager: wow lol you're hired"

"Going for a classy St. Patrick's Day this year. Anyone know of a good green wine?"