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Joke of the Day

"Job interview Hiring manager: so, according to your resume you have listed ""can pee with a boner"" as a skill Me: yea bruh I guess u can say its kinda hard Manager: wow lol you're hired"

"RIP Daenerys Targaryen we will miss you. #SPOILERALERT Just kidding. I haven't seen the latest episode yet."

"Selfie Stick - Picture taking device used when the internet has made you so socially awkward you can't ask a stranger to take a pic for you"

"TIL You can stimulate your prostate outside just get out there and do it."

"Named my band Scheduled for Demolition so whenever it appears on a marquee, confused people write angry letters to the city council."

"What did James Potter say to his wife when she told him she's been cheating with one of his friends ? ARE YOU FUCKING SIRIUS ?"

"What did the nucleus say to get the electron up? Up and atom!"

"*pretty girl walks by and doesn't make eye contact* She must be intimidated that I manage a fantasy football team that is 8-1"

"To clean up or just move. This is the question."

"I always try to compliment people, even if it's just, ""Wow, I've never seen clothes worn like that before."" or ""You have a dope overbite."""