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Joke of the Day
"The Honorable Judge Matthew McConaughey enters the court room All rise all rise all rise."
Next Joke
"Does England have a Fourth of July? They do, they just don't celebrate it."
"Expected delivery while I was out so left courier a note saying ""Please leave with neighbour"". I've just seen them heading off together."
"A man walks into a zoo that only has a dog It's a shih tzu"
"How do you get a mermaid pregnant? You fuck her."
"lying on the floor with my mouth open just in case someone breaks in and decides to grate a bunch of cheese in there"
"What do you call a Muslim basketball player's best move? Islam Dunk"
"A Mexican walks into work..."
"Next time you see someone crying Ask them if it's because of their haircut"
"Nothing says ""I'm an American"" more than ordering a pizza online and tweeting about it and then hating soccer."