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Joke of the Day
"How do you get a mermaid pregnant? You fuck her."
Next Joke
"What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house ? The Lizard of Oz !"
"Imagine how hard it is to be homeless and gay.. You wouldn't even have a closet to come out of."
"Ancestry.com: The southern version of eHarmony."
"DENTIST: let's get started, shall we? *places drill on tray* ME: um D: *places giant needle on tray* ME: uhhhhh D: *places handgun on tray*"
"I asked my Nan what she wanted for Christmas. ""Something from the Body Shop please,"" she replied..... Hope she's got enough room in the flat for the front wing off a Mondeo."
"How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25? Only once, and then you are subtracting it from 20."
"How do deaf people meet online? Simple, they just ask ""ASL?"""
"What do you call innocent women and children dying in the middle east? Freedom"
"...and then the whiskey whispered ""You should totally tell her about what your ex used to do to you in bed."""