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Joke of the Day

"The say the job market isn't good for an English Major... ...but hey, at least you're still higher than a captain."

"These riots remind me of basketball There are always people stealing, but you can't win without shooting."

"Why is CoD like women? Search and Destroy."

"I just realized that no matter what it says on my tombstone I'm going to have to read it upside down."

"I sexually identify with the black guy in a horror movie because this won't last long and we all know it"

"As the judge said to the dentist: Do you swear to pull the tooth the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?"

"A Mormon walks into a bar."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has a hook hand..."

"I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69... She said, ""No, but I have done 53 That's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"Three small children walk into a bar... These kids not used to times square"