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Joke of the Day

"Give yourself something to look forward to tomorrow: Text a friend, ""I think you owe me an apology,"" then turn off your phone and go to bed"

"If you have a referee in football what do you have in bowls ? Cornflakes !"

"I've never been to Japan, but I've seen a bunch of emojis so I think I get the idea."

"If you ask me what my favorite rock band is and I'm being subjective, I'd say The Who. If I was being objective, I'd say it was The Whom."

"What do you call a gay jewish man A heblew"

"I'm basically Switzerland. I'm cold and you have to get really high in order to truly appreciate my beauty."

"The teacher asked... - ""Why did you bring your cat today Jimmy?"" - He replied, crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school!'"""

"Where did the salami go on holiday? Costa Deli-Sol"

"What did Buddha say to the Pizza guy? ""Make me one with everything."""

"You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney."