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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to beat the room for being black and one to arrest the light bulb for being broke."

"Two tectonic plates are having a heated argument... They seem to have diverging opinions."

"What bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean? Columbus"

"Hitting the gym to release stress it's not nearly effective as hitting the cunt that causes the fucking stress"

"I saw the army of Lichtenstein the other day. He was a really nice guy."

"*phone rings* Wife: ""Quick! Pretend I'm not in!"" Me (a dad): ""Hello. Yes my wife is here. Hey, Not In. It's for you."" Wife: ""...."""

"Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to ""make it a double""."

"A redditor discovers that the world will end in 23 hours... The news never even got to report on it."

"What idiot called it the road to Bethlehem instead of the highway to the manger zone?"

"My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well... I was amazed, I never knew they worked."