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Joke of the Day

"I get hit with a lot of folding chairs for someone that's not a professional wrestler."

"I've heard of a lot of dumb criminals... but bakery robbers take the cake"

"I'm wearing a shower curtain over my head and pretending to be a ghost. I probably look legit because everybody on this bus is avoiding me."

"A friend and I are walking down the street When we see a dog laying in the yard , licking his balls. My friend says ""I wish I could do that!"". I told him "" I bet that dog would bite you!"""

"How is Santa able to carry so many presents at once? Santa isn't real."

"SNAKE: im gonna bite you SNAKE CHARMER: u are so sexy S: wha- SC: *presses finger to lips* still wana bite me? S: *blushes* well not anymore"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a potato? You wouldn't pay to have a potato on you."

"What's the best thing about have sex with a lady boy You can reach round and pretend its went all the way through"

"did you hear about the flaccid, chinese penis that ran for presidency? He didn't stand a chance in the erection."

"train operator just yelled at someone to stop smoking and they said ""I'm vaping"" and the conductor said ""I don't care"" and everyone laughed"