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Joke of the Day
"Buying a parachute at a yard sale The sign says ""$5. Only used once. Never opened."""
Next Joke
"When I was single, my most frequently used approach with women was to play hard to get rid of."
"Q: How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo? A: Write 'pp espressivo'."
"A man walks into a bar, He says ouch."
"Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't.. Because they're just numbers"
"I feel bad for that caveman who invented the wheel because you know his mother-in-law was all ""She shoulda married Grog. He invented fire"""
"What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother? Leave the plunger in the pot."
"[movie theater] Her: *Hands me popcorn bag* Can you put this down? Me: *grabs bag* You stupid, overpriced, salty piece of shit!"
"And the award for the best neckwear goes to... Well, would you look at that, it's a tie!"
"How many LA cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Nobody knows. LA cops just beat the shit out of the room for being black in the first place."