207887

Joke of the Day

"Study shows 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. Not me, though. I live next door to 2 really hot middle school girls."

"My girlfriend buys candles the same way I buy weed. She looks at the color, opens it and smells it, buys it, then lights it on fire to relax"

"My husband doesn't believe me that the Bible instructs him to make the coffee in the morning. It's there, clear as day. Hebrews."

"""Archeology is just like search and rescue only everyone's been dead for 5,000 years, so there's no rush"""

"Why is santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live."

"Every time Mila Kunis comes on my TV I do too"

"How do you circumcise a Hill-Billy? You kick his sister in the jaw."

"A midget went to visit the doctors There was a long wait and the nurse said ""you're going to have to be a little patient"""

"What type of pants do you need to start a car? Cargo pants"

"Roses are reddish... Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it weren't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish"