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Joke of the Day

"Why is physics inherently racist? There's only two types of bodies: the free body and the black body."

"6yo: I wish I was a bird so I could poop on peoples heads. 7yo: why do you need to be a bird? my 7yo is ready for twitter."

"Bought a cheese grater for a blind friend... He said it was the most violent book he's ever read."

"Rick Ross on Valentines Day ""Shout out to all the pairs"""

"Why would Rip Van Winkle make a good janitor? Because he swept for 20 years."

"What do you call it when Wonder Woman does too many drugs? Heroine overdose"

"How can you tell which is the head nurse? The one with the dirty knees."

"When I become a ghost, Im going to leave messages in blood, but theyre gonna be overwhelmingly positive, like ""You're Doing A Great Job"""

"My first job... My first job out of college was a ""diesel fitter"" at a pantyhose factory... As they came off the line, I would hold them up and say, ""Yep, deez'll fit her!"""

"What did you have for breakfast? Pea Soup Q: What did you have for lunch? A: Pea Soup Q: What did you have for dinner? A: Pea Soup Q: What did you do all night? A: Pee soup..."