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Joke of the Day

"People who incessantly go on and on about replacing things that taste good with quinoa, please stop"

"God damn it Adolf... I told you to pass me the juice not gas the jews!"

"Why did Tomato turn red from embarrassment? Because it saw Salad dressing."

"I keep throwing up when I count in French My doctor thinks I might have a huit allergy"

"TIL the musical group Ace of Base was killed in a horrific traffic accident after they missed their exit on the highway and crashed... Police later said, ""they didn't see the sign..."""

"Went to the library today and asked have you got any books on mysterious disappearances? The librarian said "" Well, they used to be over there......"""

"While sitting on the beach, 16 told me he is going to go under the pier with his girlfriend and catch crabs. They grow up so fast."

"I hate to think there are meteorologists out there who've never stood in front of the green screen and pretended to jerk off Florida."

"What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato? A dictator."

"What do you call a nun that sleepwalks? A Roamin' Catholic."