2077

Joke of the Day

"Phone on silent. 10 missed calls. Turns volume to loudest. Nobody calls All damn Day."

"What does a guy drink when he wants to go out with a girl? DATERADE"

"A recent survey suggests 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape"

"""Calm down"" I suggested. ""WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M NOT CALM?"" she carved in the side of my truck."

"I've always wondered why Rolf Harris never played any string instruments But I guess he figured out other ways to finger a minor"

"My wife thinks that I'm too nosy... At least that's what she keeps scribbling in her diary."

"I'll never forget what my grandmother said to me right before she passed away. She said to me *""What are you doing?!?""*"

"""God is dead, but like, dead in a fun way"" - Nietzsche trying to make a first date less awkward"

"My gay friend got stoned today. I told him Saudi Arabia was not a good honeymoon destination but he didn't listen."

"the plot of hitman is that greg hitman is just trying to go about his day but wacky things always seem to happen when he's around!"