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Joke of the Day
"Why didn't the bear go to college? Because bears don't go to college."
Next Joke
"What happened to the baseball played who was unfaithful to his wife? He was thrown out at home. *alternate response* - His two balls got a strike."
"I've been getting way too deep into the Prague Surrealist movement lately. I think I need a Reality Czech."
"How many good presidential candidates does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Its gonna be a dark four years, now isn't it?"
"Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell down the well? She screamed her fingers to the bone."
"Me: Shut the door, I need privacy 4y/o: But we're family! Me: Families don't watch each other go poop 4:You watch me poop! Me:...take a seat"
"The cops raided our house and set off my epilepsy... Talk about a search and seizure"
"How do you make a holy water? Put it in a pot and boil the hell out of it."
"Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long? A: So the violists don't need to be retrained."
"Want to hear a joke? Donald Trump. Oh wait it's not funny anymore."