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Joke of the Day

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""The pilot! Let me in!"" . . . Too soon?"

"This grocery store is playing ""Freebird"" which I interpret as an invitation to shoplift a turkey."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see his girlfriend on the other side, but then he got taken by McDonalds and crushed for chicken nuggets."

"A sentence and depression What does a ""sentence"" and ""two months of depression hoping that you didn't get your girlfriend pregnant have in common""? They both end in periods"

"What's the difference between an erection and Colin Kaepernick? An erection can make it past the semis, and still stand up if you sing for it."

"An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, beer garden, hangout, lounge, night club, mini bar, bar stool, tavern, pub, beer, wine, whiskey..."

"What kind of coffee does an executioner drink? Decap"

"Baby, you've bought yourself a cruise on the Love Boat. I'll be your captain."

"*travels back to 1930's* okay and that's why you've got to kill hitler FBI: wait so you can just look at naked lady videos anytime you want"

"Why do the poles shift? to find better jobs"