207375

Joke of the Day

"Double leg amputees are the worst... ...I can't stand them"

"A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him."

"What kind of degree do you inherit through marriage? A degree in law."

"The lady in front of me wearing yoga pants keeps bending over to pick up quarters, hope she will for dimes too, as I'm out of quarters."

"My GF and I would kick ass at the newlywed game. I know 100% of her answers to questions is "" I don't know""."

"My son was twice as hungry as me. So I only ate a one Na fish sandwich."

"Over the years, my sexual fetishes have been getting more perverse But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I hit rock bottom"

"Forget waterboarding, just put a cold hand on my belly and I'll tell you anything you want to know."

"Today's Genration Dady asked his 3 years old son. Would you like baby brother or a baby sister, Son: dad, I like ur sisters baby girl "

"Was gonna buy a new car but got my groceries for the week at Whole Foods instead"