20705

Joke of the Day

"I thought about being a feminist but what could I possibly do for the cause? I'm just a woman."

"How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes"

"""Son: Dad, i had sex for the first time"" 'Dad: That is great Son! Sit down and tell me all about it' 'son: Yeah about that...'"

"Remember alcohol is NEVER the answer. ""Why can't I get it up?"" Okay, sometimes alcohol is the answer."

"I m at the ATM when a robber holding his gun at my back... He asks: do you want to see your family again? I said ""no"". We both had a good laugh."

"A kid came to my door earlier dressed like a mime, so I pretended to put candy in his basket."

"GOD: (creates earth) hell yea lizard planet! WINDOWSTM: restart planet for important updates GOD: um ok *dinos die, man appears* GOD: wtf"

"What's a karate experts favourite beverage? kar-a-TEA HA"

"You know why Communist Jokes are funny? Because they are Commie-cal."

"got a job at the no more tears baby shampoo factory spraying shampoo into babies eyes and filming their reactions. best job ive ever had"