206908
Joke of the Day
"I find it hard to explain stuff to kleptomaniacs. They take things literally!"
Next Joke
"Ahhh, Christmastime... Is my favorite time of year. It's the only time of the year that my wife isn't griping at me to take down the Christmas lights."
"*sees a cat yawning* How the hell can you be tired?"
"What do you call a German dust storm? A Jewish family reunion."
"So far my toddler's most impressive defense mechanism is pooping his pants every time anyone rings our doorbell."
"Wife*outside bathroom door*:""I can hear ur keyboard clicking away. U tweeting in there?"" Me*pauses knitting*:""Uh, Ya"""
"Two men walk into a bar... the third one ducks."
"In Catholicism, souls have mass."
"The local Chinese restaurant has creme brulee, but it's not on the menu. It's Secret Asian Flan"
"A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says:, Sorry, but we don't serve minors."