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Joke of the Day

"[flying remote control helicopter near my wife] GET THAT THING AWAY FROM MY- [helicopter gets tangled in her hair & now I'm a dead person]"

Next Joke
 
"Whenever I meet a guy named Paul, I ask if it's short for Paula, then I laugh & laugh & laugh & laugh & laugh & making friends is hard. :("
"How cats and dogs think Dog: These people feed me, pet me, love me, they must be God. Cat: These people feed me, pet me, love me, I must be a God."
"You're not going to believe this CLICK BAITED SUCKAHS"
"Why does the Leaning Tower of Pisa lean? It is italicized."
"What did Salt 'N' Pepa say to the nosey chemist? ""It's none of your Bismuth!"" Sorry."
"My parents always taught me to pursue my dreams. That's why I take so many naps."
"If eating fish is so good for your brain, how come sharks always score so poorly on the SAT?"
"Mario! Are you coming to save me from Bowser's Castle? PEACH I MIGHT BE"
"When someone says ""sorry it's so messy in here"" regarding their mostly clean car I laugh so loud I cough up several pieces of trash"
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