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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building? A comickaze"

"[My relationship with TV] There's nothing on. *watches nothing for the next six hours."

"I saw a man hitting on a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one!"

"What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer? I actually care when my computer crashes."

"*i get on a rollercoaster with my washing machine* ""Hold tight son...WAIT! If u are here then.."" *son is at home w/ a mouth full of laundry*"

"I fractured my tailbone this morning. I guess you could say I was pretty butthurt."

"'Calm Your Tits' is derogatory. Feminists reccomend, instead : 'De-stress the Breasts"",'Soothe your Boobs', 'Give that Chest a Rest', 'Don't have a Rack Attack' and 'Hakuna the Tattas'"

"Where do super-villains get their coffee? DUN-DUN-DUUUNNNNkin Donuts."

"Did you hear the one about the statistician who drowned while wading across a river whose average depth was three feet?"

"Did you hear the one about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget."